Growing Up the Modern Way

I am not an adult. I never wanted to be an adult. I spent my time as a child dreaming I was a Peter Pan character and could stay young forever. When I did finally read Peter Pan in high school, I tried even harder to keep hold of my childhood, for I knew it was leaving. I was aging.

That was an irony, though, and I knew it from the start. The fact that I was holding on meant I was old enough to recognize it was slipping. This meant it was already too late. This meant I was already past Peter and become Hook.

I suppose adulthood has some perks to it. I am old enough to read. I can make decisions for myself. I have a license. People don’t question my presence (except when I’m being carded; oh, that thrill). College––graduation!–– has laid before me all of life’s potential. Above all, I can blow bubbles in my milk, and no one can nay.

When we hit adulthood, though, we expect a certain amount of ken on the part of our fellows. Perhaps not common sense, for we know from history that is impossible, but––perhaps some wit? Ah-ha. Twitter. Let’s see what Twitter has to say.

Nay. Existing within the Library of Congress’ store of all of Twitter’s files is some wit. But, most of Twitter is full of drivel. I expected look at my plate of awesome food! and I took a hundredth selfie today!, but I put stock in a few people and users. I followed them. Then, a few stupid, inane Tweets later, I realize, they use Twitter just like the rest of them. Instead of trying to make something else out of Twitter, they just update a random and obscure quote of a friend or a photo of a cookie.

And thus, an idol of a user falls.

Grow up, users. Learn how to use Twitter.