The Story of the Scammed Scammer

Craigslist: the unofficial, official gathering site for all those wishing to sell, buy, and advertise to the world that they are unemployed and can dig ditches/cook/clean/tutor (that last one, PLEASE hire me!). Craigslist also happens to be the prowling grounds for cons, scams, and perhaps even the romanticized smuggler. I found my first scammer yesterday.

I placed my ad for tutoring services (*ehem*) a few days ago, hoping for some response. I'm a college kid. College kids notoriously have no money. Either way, I'm broke. I need to pay tuition. Therefore, I write my little ad, push submit, and find myself checking my gmail for the next few days as if two seconds could have made a difference. I get a few replies, one of which asks me to send in my application via a link. The link was broken––and I'm stuck back at the beginning.

Two days ago, however, the pall lifted. A businessman named Kevin Stark had sent his own ad for a temporary driver. I could make $400 a day, I think. He's English, he says, I read. Even better. I like the English. English are cool (if you do not get that reference, do not ever read my blog again) (actually, please do. I'm broke.). Anyway––sidetracked. Englishman, and $400 a day: my inner little-kid-obsessed-with-foreign-stuff immediately wants this job more than anything.

However, I realized there was something fishy about all of this. He's coming to my town, he said. Why my town? There's NOTHING here? So I pulled a quick Google search and find word-for-word my fantastic email, below [please read in an English accent]:

Dear Applicant,

How are you doing today? Thanks for responding back. I am Kevin and
I am based in England and i am a business man and will be coming to
the United States for a business trip,and my stay will last for 10 days
(June 13th to June 23rd), I need a personal driver who will drive me to
and from my destination during this 10days. I will provide the vehicle
and Gas which will be used for this purpose. My conditions are as follows:

1: Applicants must possess a valid drivers license

2: Applicants must be good and careful driver

3: You Must dress well/ No dress code

4: Salary is $400 daily

5: Willing to work 5 days of the week from M - F (8am-4pm)...Holiday's
Exclusive.

6:Your Full name:
Address : ( no po box) only street address
City , State,  Zip code :
Your phone number: (Cell and Home)

 You can reach me directly on my cell any time ( +447045764619 ) but I
will appreciate your swift response in replying back as soon as possible
so i can be sure you want the job and can let you know my travel Itinerary.

Regards,
Kevin Stark.




Dear Kevin Stark . . . . you deny me my income. The article I read stated that this particular devilish conman would fool unsuspecting winners to the airport to pick him up, stiff them, and threaten to sue them if he didn't get back the cash advance he had given them. He left them with the rental car fee and whatever he could scavenge from their bank account. I do wonder how well this works. I may try this ploy myself (You never knew me. You know nothing).

I have this problem: I like to prank people, especially when I don't know that person or that person will never find out that I pranked them. I like to play the innocent, doe-eyed idiot to fool people into thinking that I do not know what they're up to. People give spectacular reactions. I love it. Below is my type of fun:

Me:
Kevin,

In what city or area will you be needing to be driven?

Lindsay

Kevin: 

Am coming in to Hillsville [Hillsville for the purpose of this blog] .... if interested do get back to me with the bellow details 

so i can stop my search...

Me (after I found out he was a scam): 

Kevin, 

Nevermind. I cannot do it.

Lindsay

PS Out of curiosity, what will you be doing in Hillsville?

Kevin: 

Never mind... thanks i will look for another

The observant eye will have noticed that "Kevin's" grammar skills dropped significantly after the pre-fab email (I'm sure he had to pore over the MLA handbook and a thesaurus for that first one. It must have taken him hours . . . *ehem*). That is evidence bit #1 he's a conner. Also, he's coming to my town on a business trip. No one comes to my town on a business trip. Actually, no one comes to my town, except for by accident, or if he runs out of gas. 

I feel my email made him squirm, enough that he didn't want to answer. I am still laughing at this. I have actually wanted to be scammed on craigslist ever since I joined––though, nothing permanent, of course. 

I think I scammed my scammer. This makes me happy.